There are two things that you should know before I describe our excellent experience with Stevie in Maine. First, the main street in any other state is called, appropriately “Main Street.” Guess what it’s called in Maine. Maine Street. Depending on my mood I either think this is quaint or absolutely in-fur-i-ating. However after visiting Maine and seeing how fun, easygoing, and sincere everyone is, I have to err on the side of quaint.
Photo by Megan Yuppa
The second thing is about one particular Maine resident and mutual friend to the three of us. Kimmy. I don’t know about you, but nowadays, when I read that name out loud I do it in a deep, angry voice, almost a growl, and when I am done reading I make a hissing noise. Read it with me. GrrKimmyissss.I’m getting ahead of myself. Kimmy called us a few days before we hit Maine and informed us that she would be in Tennessee. We let her know we were coming months in advance. She had us go to her place of work where she had left us some money to buy lunch and local beers to try to buy us off. The Sea Dog Blueberry Wheat was particularly good, and I don’t normally go for fruit beers. Ok. I’m not really that mad and it did work out, but Kimmy, consider this blog post a warning. You won’t get another.
Thankfully Stevie (and his family) swooped to the rescue, providing not only lodging in a beautiful home with beautiful surroundings, but four Maine lobsters for his and our dining enjoyment, and even gave us a step by step course for Tom and Sarah’s first full lobster experience.
It was a well needed refresher course for me; I hadn’t had a full lobster in years. The lobster was delicious. It was so fresh (live before we cooked it, which ended up being hilarious) and succulent that I could hardly stand it when it was finished.
What, you ask, made the live lobster so hilarious? Well I’ll tell you. The lobsters have two claws, one for pinching and one larger, blunter claw for crushing. They come from the supermarket with rubber bands on their claws. Real lobster enthusiasts, Stevie included, remove the rubber bands so that the lobster meat doesn’t have a rubbery taste when it is done being boiled.
Well you wouldn’t believe it (but its true) but Stevie was de-banding the claws of the very last lobster when it took its crushing claw and crushed right on to his thumb. At least the pincher didn’t get anything, right? Wrong! While Stevie was worrying about his thumb the Lobster took his pincher and gave Steve the worst purple nurple that I have ever seen. This, folks, is the stuff of nightmares.
I rushed to Stevie’s aid, concentrating on freeing his thumb from the crusher claw. Sarah, hilariously, cowered in the corner. Tom, more hilariously got out his camera and snapped a photo (shown here). Stevie freed his hand and, shortly after, nipple and slam dunked the lobster into the boiling death sentence that awaited it, getting the last laugh. By the time it was all over, there was a hole in Stevie’s shirt.
Thanks Stevie and family, for the excellent hospitality and comedy show.