Joseph V. Salvucci, Jr.
652 Magnolia Ct.
Bensalem, PA 19020
April 28, 2009

Lawrence [Last Name Redacted]
[Position Redacted]
Bank of America Corporation (Formerly Merrill Lynch)
[Address Redacted]

Dear Larry:

I have recently been issued a secure ID key pass to be able to access my workstation from off site locations.  However, I do not anticipate being granted the flexibility to use this to stay employed part time, off site for a prolonged period of time.  Pending a resolution to this effect, I hereby submit my resignation from Merrill Lynch, Inc., effective May 26, 2009, to pursue a more interesting, less lucrative path.  For details see

At your convenience, I will be glad to discuss the reassignment of my work to others.  They, on the other hand, will not be so pleased.

I sincerely apologize for submitting my resignation immediately before your long family weekend and that my last day is immediately after the work break for the ten year anniversary of your marriage.  The timing, though hilarious, was not intentional.

On a serious note, I would like to use this public opportunity to note that everyone on the team—yourself notwithstanding—has proven themselves as experts in their respective roles and are therefore deserving of promotions.  I acknowledge that it may sound insincere to make a blanket statement of this nature but in this case it holds true.

I wish you good luck and continued success, especially in the unenviable task of finding my replacement.  It won’t be easy; I have a pretty unbelievable skill set.

[signed Joseph V. Salvucci Jr.]

Joseph V. Salvucci, Jr.
Settlement Specialist

cc: weblog post

4/29/2009 01:41:59 am


That is the coolest most hilarious resignation letter ever!

Joey Salvucci for President!


4/29/2009 05:55:56 am

i sent this to the people i go to school with, i was literally loling around my room

5/1/2009 06:17:51 am

I still can't believe you didn't wait for my input before you clicked "send".

However, this remains, your BEST resignation letter to date as well as your ONLY resignation letter to date.

I will miss our Morning Zoo convo's. :)

Amy Alexander
5/6/2009 08:49:11 am

Joey, it was a pleasure to read your resignation letter. I cannot remember a time that I so enjoyed reading a piece of office correspondence. I am so looking forward to tracking your journey to Portland. I wish you all the best and can't wait to vicariously travel across the US with you!
Love, Amy


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